Repost: I hope a shark eats me after I die

I really should be more dilligent about posting here, but it's hard to keep in mind when my two main audiences are captives of Friendster and MySpace. I don't even update my own site anymore.

Anyway, here's my latest that stirred up a debate.

I think cemeteries are a waste of space. And anyone who's ever seen a decent scary movie knows you can't take the space back and build a farm or a housing development over an old burial ground without dire consequences. Although there are a lot of stupid people in this world, most don't want to live with ghosts or eat haunted vegetables.

For as long as I can remember thinking about the subject, I've always told my family I wanted to be cremated after croaking it. I wanted a party instead of a funeral, with possibly a memorial service if they felt it was entirely necessary. And since I was pretty sure I was going to be the first to go, I wanted to make sure no well-meaning relative took it upon themselves to give me a freaking makeover.

But, honestly, I don't want anyone looking at me after I'm dead. I mean, I guess someone has to find and dispose of the body (I nominate my sister, Shannon). Other than that, I'd rather not have anyone poking and prodding at my husk after the lights go out.

It's bad enough my sisters think I lack all sense of fashion and proper grooming -- but not hygiene; they think I bathe enough for a small army of Taras -- and will probably dress the body in some get up I wouldn't have wanted to be caught dead in, but there's also the problem of necrophiles working for funeral homes. I mean, should someone else get to get off on my parts if I'm not a round to enjoy it? I don't think so.

At first, I thought the solution would be getting ripped apart by lions, but since it would be pretty hard for Shannon to get a corpse to the savannah, undetected, I figured maybe wolves would be a better choice. Except, my big sis isn't exactly at one with nature. Plus, wolves might leave something behind for someone else to fiddle with. Which would totally defeat the purpose.

I thought about it and thought about it. The thing is, before she had to learn to walk all over again, Shannon was a big-time beach bunny. It's time and past that she recaptured her love affair with the ocean. So, sharks seem to be the best choice. And the with a whole ocean full of other creatures to gnaw at whatever bits the sharks don't get, I think the body formerly known as Tara would be safe enough from fiddlers and save the Earth from another grave.

She wouldn't do it, though. She's too much of a girly-girl to let me get eaten by a wild animal.